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July 10 by amaranthine-eternity July 10 by amaranthine-eternity

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This is for Flash Fiction Month. I was thinking about the idea of heartstrings and this is what I came up with. Please tell me what you think. Yes, there is gore in this, but no sex. Haha, I missnamed this originally. Sorry.
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:iconkagenokarasu:
KageNoKarasu Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
first line: urge to laugh
doffing his hat…. there's two his' there
and the spelling errors are still in the last paragraph as others have pointed out.

All around a decent read. Was written quickly and could use a read through. But again, you show that you're good at writing the short stories, the fables.
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Professional General Artist
I need to edit (Hell, I need an actual editor), but yeah thanks very much.
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:icongothchick913:
gothchick913 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
this is really awesome. there is a typo though heart should be hand
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Professional General Artist
I know, I really should change it. Thank you!
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:icongothchick913:
gothchick913 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
ok i just wanted to tell you just in case
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Professional General Artist
It's cool. Thanks for pointing it out- I hate when people see an error and don't mention it.
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:icongothchick913:
gothchick913 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Professional General Artist
Urgh, I need to get off my ass and write more...
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:icongothchick913:
gothchick913 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i get like that from time to time but inspiration strikes at odd times
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Professional General Artist
Yeah, like most of my poetry was written when I was so tired I could barely see.
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(1 Reply)
:iconnamenameone:
namenameone Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This is a decent little piece, except for a few word confusions at the end. Like, instead of "Dipping his heart into her..." I think you meant "hand." And "her" instead of "he" a couple lines down from that. Otherwise, this is fine. A bit rushed feeling, if you don't mind my saying so, could've used a bit more build up on atmosphere and such. The flow is okay though, and the word choice is good. So an adequate job, overall.
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Professional General Artist
Mm, yeah I felt this story was a bit problematic. I'll fix up the errors and resubmit it in a day or so. Thank you very much
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:iconnamenameone:
namenameone Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student Digital Artist
You're welcome.
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Professional General Artist
I like when people give me useful imput. It's nice to hear that someone likes a story, but it's better when someone points out a fault and tells me how to fix it.
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:iconika-ika-chan:
Ika-Ika-Chan Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012
oh wow fun D: but good really good I like this literal thing
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
I love to take metaphorical things literally. It makes life more amusing.
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:iconika-ika-chan:
Ika-Ika-Chan Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012
it does put a new spin on things!
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012  Professional General Artist
I just get bored a lot, so doing that helps.
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:iconika-ika-chan:
Ika-Ika-Chan Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012
that would i suppose
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012  Professional General Artist
It doesn't help that I have a short attention span
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:iconika-ika-chan:
Ika-Ika-Chan Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012
everyone does
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Professional General Artist
Those who don't are scary
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:iconamaranthine-eternity:
amaranthine-eternity Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Professional General Artist
I somehow ended up with a blank page. How annoying.
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